I DO NOT HELP MY WIFE 🙂
A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, “I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”
He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.”
I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a “help” to do household chores.
I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.
I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.
I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.
I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.
I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.
I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You said thank you
But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!
Does that seem absurd to you? Are you looking strange? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory … why? You never thought about that, my friend?
Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.
Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs … Feel at home. In his house.
The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship! ”
-reverted Brother Tee Edwards
💮Having children is one of the blessings of Allah.
God provides us all with different rizq (well-being), health and offsprings. All of these things are gifts from God and we should be grateful for what we are given and never complain for what we don’t have.
⏩It is sunnah to announce the birth of the child once the baby arrives but till that moment below are some beneficial practices for you and your child in sha Allah.
💮KEEP IT PRIVATE
If you are expecting a baby, keep thanking God for this gift and keep it private among close relatives. There is a general principle which should be paid attention to when telling others of blessings. The news should be given only to those who wish good for you and will rejoice over it, so as to ward off the evil eye and destructive envy (hasad).
The evidence for that is the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Be discreet in order to achieve what you want, for everyone who is blessed is envied.”
Narrated by al-Tabaraani and Abu Nu’aym; classed as sahaah by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 943.
Be thankful to Allah for having chosen you for such a gift. The first trimester is hard for some women who suffer from nausea (morning sickness) and weakness; and the last weeks of pregnancy are exhausting:
Allah says in the Quran: “…His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness…” (Surah Luqman:14)
“…His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship…” (Surah al-Aĥqaf:15)
even then, keep thanking Allah and believe that He will never burden you more than you can bear! He is indeed the best of planners and knows what is best for us!
💮FOLLOW THE FOOTSTEPS OF THE MOTHER OF Maryam (AS)
What a blessed mother was she who gave birth to Maryam! So why not follow her footsteps and make the same dua (supplication) she did when she was expecting as narrated in the Quran: “[Mention, O Muhammad], when the wife of ‘Imran said: My Lord, indeed I have pledged to You what is in my womb, consecrated [for Your service], so accept this from me. Indeed, You are the Hearing, the Knowing.” (Surah Aal Imran: 35)
With this dua, renew your intention every day that this baby would be a pious servant of Allah. Insha’Allah your intentions and prayers will have a positive effect in creating an innate bond between your child and the deen (religion) of Allah!
💮WHEN RUH (SOUL) ENTERS YOUR BABY
It is narrated in a hadith by the Prophet (sa) that: “Each one of you is constituted in the womb of the mother for forty days, and then he becomes a clot of thick blood for a similar period, and then a piece of flesh for a similar period. Then Allah sends an angel who is ordered to write four things. He is ordered to write down his deeds, his livelihood, his (date of) death, and whether he will be blessed or wretched (in religion). Then the soul is breathed into him…” (Bukhari)
Based on this hadith, jurists have inferred that the soul enters the foetus at around 4 months/120 days after gestation, that is, the second trimester. As you enter your second trimester, make frequent dua to Allah to pre-ordain for your baby a life of unwavering faith.
💮RECITE THE QURAN FOR YOUR BABY
Around the 20th week, the baby in the womb gains the ability to hear. This is a great time to create a one-on-one, exclusive bond with your unborn baby by reciting the Quran every day. The sound waves of your voice will reach your baby and what better words than the melodious Quran for your baby to hear and get familiar with.
Give your child a head start in creating a relationship and bond with the Quran even before he comes in this world. This is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your child!
Perhaps one of the things that the woman should focus on during this period is learning about sound methods of raising children, reading books on this topic or listening to useful lectures by scholars on it, whether that has to do with moral upbringing, health, psychology, pedagogy, and so on, in preparation for the great mission with which Allah has entrusted the parents, which is the trust of raising and caring for the child, so that the parents may embark upon it with knowledge and insight and achieve the best results, and attain the pleasure of Allah in this world and in the Hereafter.
As for the acts of worship that the pregnant woman can do, they are all the acts of worship that the Muslim does by day and by night, such as praying, fasting (so long as there is no fear of harm), giving charity, reading Qur’aan, regularly reciting the adhkaar that are prescribed in sharee‘ah, treating people kindly, visiting relatives, taking stock of oneself, and striving to attain the best attitudes, actions and words
💮FOOD AND FITNESS
Meditation through prayer: Many people will guide you towards yoga and meditation, which are a great way to relax your overworked body. However remember that prayer is the best form of meditation and it will calm you and soothe your baby as well.
💮Keep checking in with Allah:
Stay connected with Allah and talk to Him about your fears and difficulties. Make istikharah (guidance prayer) for all decisions, especially when choosing your doctor and your delivery options. Ask Allah to grant you a safe delivery, a righteous child, and an easy transition into motherhood.
💮Avail the maternity leave Allah has given, if needed:
The Prophet (sa) said: “Allah has relieved the traveller of half of the prayer and of the duty to fast, and He has relieved pregnant and nursing mothers (of the duty to fast).” (Sunan an-Nasa’i; reliable)
If you feel that you are unable to fast due to weakness or any other complication, you can leave your fast without any worry. However do remember to mark it somewhere so that you don’t forget to make it up later.
💮Eat beneficial foods:
Add honey, milk, figs, and dates to your diet as all of these have been mentioned in the Quran or the hadith for their benefits.
♥️May Allah make your pregnancy easy, and grant you a pious child who will be sadqa e jariah for you…
AMEEN YA RAB
Via Women In Islam
The Prophet (salla Allaahu ‘alayhi wa salaam) said, ALLAH said:
“I have prepared for My pious worshipers such things as no eye has ever seen, no ear has ever heard of, and nobody has ever thought of. All that is reserved, besides which, all that you have seen, is nothing.”
[Saheeh Bukhari – Book 60, Hadith 303]
(From Darkness to the Light)
Assalamalaikum, My Name is Melissa….
I used to be a new apostolic christian.
I had a hectic life of drinking alot and having sex with different men.I have 3 children from 3 different men.I was married to the 1 but he never worked, drinking alcohol alot and abused me in front of my children.I have a very good friend who use to give me a lift to work and use to talk about Allah and Islam. Every morning I listened but I wasnt really that interested until the day that he spoke about Allah and there was tears in his eyes…I was so moved about this grown man of 40 yrs that talks about his religion sp passionately. I started getting more interested and in January 2016 I embraced Islam. I go every week to one-on-one classes with the Imam who is teaching me step by step from the history and all I need to know in our daily lives.
I have never regretted my decision and hope other non muslims will open their eyes as well in sha Allah Ameen.
“No man is alone with a woman but the shaytaan is the third one present.”
[Narrated by Ahmad, al-Tirmidhi and al-Haakim; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ (2546)