Make the most of being a wife
Being called as someone’s hoor ul ‘ain, wife or better half is an amazing feeling. But the amazement can reach a higher level when we realize the benefits that can be attained in this world and the hereafter through this incredible yet challenging role.
(1)Win the titles-Best of women, Best of comfort, Best of wealth:
1 out of 100 women in the world dreams to win the title of Miss World. When a believing woman is considered ,this female slave of Allah, would love to and strive hard to attain the titles of best of women, best of comfort and best of wealth ,mentioned in the following ahadith.
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: It was said to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): Which of women is best? He said:
“The one who makes (her husband) happy when he looks at her, obeys him when he tells her to do something, and does not disobey him with regard to herself or her wealth in a way that he dislikes.”[Narrated by al-Nasaa’i (3131); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Nasaa’i].
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
“This world is temporary conveniences and the best of its comforts is a believing wife, who when you look at her she pleases you and if you tell her to do something she obeys you, and if you are away from her she protects you with regard to herself and your wealth.”
It was narrated that Thawbaan said: When there was revealed about silver and gold what was revealed, they said: So what kind of wealth should we acquire? ‘Umar said: I will find out about that for you. So he mounted his camel and caught up with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and I was right behind him. He said: O Messenger of Allah, what kind of wealth should we acquire? He said:
“Let one of you acquire a thankful heart, a tongue that remembers Allah and a believing wife who will help him with regard to the Hereafter.”
Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi (3094). In another version it says: “who will help him with his faith.” Ibn Maajah (1856). Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Tirmidhi.
To win these titles, a woman got to inculcate the following important characteristics mentioned by the Prophet of Allah (peace and blessings upon him):
When her husband looks at her, he is happy with her religious commitment, attitude, behavior and appearance.
When he is away from her, she protects his honour and his wealth.
If he tells her to do something, she obeys him, so long as he does not tell her to commit sin.
(2) Become the woman of jannah:
Obedience is the first right Islam acknowledges for the husband over his wife which can lead her to enter paradise. The Prophet of Allah (peace and blessings upon him) said:
“If a woman performs the five daily prayers, fasts the month of Ramadan, maintains her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her:”Enter paradise by whichever of the gates of paradise you wish”.[Narrated by Ahmad (1664) classed as hasan by Al-Albani].
(3)Your husband, your hero!:
Consider your husband as your hero. He is your prince charming chosen by Allah, the most loving. Love your man to the core. Keep reminding yourself of his love and care for you, making him worth of your grateful gaze, leaving you teary eyed.
Show the signs of having a thankful and contended heart because of your hero. Beholding your sight only for him helps in lowering your gaze from non-mehram men and thus maintain your chastity.
Know his position in your life. The Qur’aan and Sunnah indicate that the husband has a confirmed right over his wife, and that she is commanded to obey him, treat him well and put obedience to him above obedience to her parents and brothers. Indeed, he is her paradise and her hell.
For example, Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”.[al-Nisa’ 4:34]
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
“It is not permissible for a woman to fast when her husband is present except with his permission, or to allow anyone in his house without his permission.”[Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899].
Ibn Maajah (1853) narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn Abi Awfa said: When Mu’aadh came from Syria, he prostrated to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) who said,
“What is this, O Mu’aadh?” He said, I went to Syria and saw them prostrating to their archbishops and patriarchs, and I wanted to do that for you. The Messenger of Allah (S) said, “Do not do that. If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands.By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfill her duty towards Allah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.”[Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah].
(4)Multiply your good deeds:
The Prophet of Allah (Peace and blessings be upon him) said,
”Whoever guides someone to goodness will have a similar reward.”
Can there be a better source than your life partner to multiply your good deeds? With utmost respect and proper hikmah, guide your husband towards goodness. From encouraging to spend in the way of Allah azza wa jal to little reminders of saying Bismillah before eating or saying Allahu Akber before climbing up, utilize this beautiful opportunity of sharing your entire life with your husband in multiplying your good deeds.
(5) Best friends forever:
A best friend is the one who when you are alone, becomes your shadow. If you want to cry will lend a shoulder. If you want a hug becomes your pillow and when you want to be happy becomes your smile.
Your soul mate, your man can be your BFF. It’s just the matter of considering him as your besty. Peace and tranquility can be attained by sharing your thoughts ,your fears, your interests with him. Be playful with him. Plan exciting stuff with him. Count on him as the best of support in the times of tests and trails. These gestures of yours will make your relationship much stronger.
(6)Become a better person:
There is always a room for personal development. Life is a bumpy road. There may be times of anger and remorse between the soul mates. Here comes an opportunity for the wife to learn being patient and handling the whole situation perfectly. When your husband is angry try to remain silent and let him calm down.
Abu Ad-Darda’, may Allah be pleased with him, said to his wife:
“If you see me angry, calm me down, and if I see you angry, I will calm you down, otherwise it will be too difficult to live together”
Following this amazing advice of the companion of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) can help you gain the pride of your husband for being an amazing wife. He may start loving you more.
Also, why not grasp the good qualities of the love of your life and become a better person? Whether it is learning the deen or handling the worldly affairs, observing your husband’s attitude while dealing with such things can make your life much easier.
For example, if you see him keeping his promises always, learn that quality from him and try to keep the promises you make with anyone. Another example can be taken as, say, you have a weakness of over thinking on comments made by people on you. If people make comments on your husband he gives a deaf ear. Bravo! Grasp this quality of his and lead a peaceful life.
What can be more blissful than knowing that your significant other is helping you to become a better person followed by being grateful for having him in your life.
We ask Allah Subhanahu ta’ala to instill the best of love, compassion, understanding, respect and trust in this heavenly relationship, make our spouses coolness of our eyes and a key to enter paradise. Ameen!