Some mistakenly translate “qiwamah” or responsibility for the family as superiority.
The Qur’aan makes it clear that the sole basis for superiority of any person over another is piety and righteousness not gender, color, or nationality:
“O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes that you may know each other. Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is (one who is) the most righteous of you. And Allaah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things). “(Qur’aan 49:13)
The husband is responsible for the maintenance, protection, and overall headship of the family (qiwamah) within the framework of consultation and kindness. The mutual dependency and complementary of the roles of males and females does not mean “subservience” by either party to the other. Prophet Muhammad on whom be peace helped in household chores in spite of his busy schedule.
“The mothers shall give suck to their offspring for two whole years if the father desires to complete the term. But he shall bear the cost of their food and clothing on equitable terms. No soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than it can bear. No mother shallbe treated unfairly on account of her child nor father on account of his child. An heir shall be chargeable in the same way if they both decide on weaning by mutual consent and AFTER DUE CONSULTATION there is no blame on them. If you decide on a foster-mother for your offspring there is no blame on you provided you pay (the mother) what you offered on equitable terms. But fear Allah and know that Allah sees well what you do.”
The Qur’aan urges husbands to be kind and considerate to heir wives even if they do not like them.
“O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness that you may take away part of the marital gift you have given them except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings about though it a great deal of good.” (Qur’aan 4:19)
Prophet Muhammad on whom be peace taught:
” I command you to be kind to women …”
“The best of you is the best to his family (wife) …”
The most perfect believers are the best in conduct and best of you are those who are best to their wives. (Ibn-Hanbal, No. 7396)
Men should remember that they are obligated to be just and fair to their wives ( in this way they must exercise their role as protector/leader/guardian):
“Allah commands justice, the doing Of good, and liberality to kith And kin, and He forbids All shameful deeds, and injustice And rebellion: He instructs you, That ye may receive admonition. (The Noble Qur’aan, 16:90)”
Tafsir Ibn Kathir on this verse:
The Command to be Fair and Kind
Allaah tells us that He commands His servant to be just, i.e., fair and moderate, and that He encourages kindness and good treatment.
When misconception concerning Polygamy (polygyny) are raised that it gives Men some sort of superiority over the women:
First, we find the Concept of polygamy in all major religions.
Secondly,There is no text in the Qur’aan or Sunnah states that either monogamy or polygyny is the norm, demographic data indicates that monogamy is the norm and polygyny is the EXCEPTION.It is neither required nor encouraged, but simply permitted and not outlawed.
The only passage in the Qur’aan (4:3) which explicitly mentioned polygyny and restricted its practice in terms of the number of wives permitted and the requirement ofjustice between them was revealed after the Battle of Uhud in which dozens of Muslims were martyred leaving behind widows and orphans. This seems to indicate that the intent of its continued permissibility is to deal with individual and collective contingencies that may arise from time to time (i.e., imbalances between the number of males and females created by wars). This provides a moral, practical, and humane solution to the problems of widows and orphans who are likely to be more vulnerable in the absence of a husband/father figure to look after their needs: financial,companions, proper rearing, and other needs.
“If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans marry women of your choice two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only ONE …” (Qur’aan 4:3)
The BEST exemplary follower of Islaam is the Prophet Muhammad on whom be peace:
“God did confer a great favour on the believers when He sent among them an apostle from among themselves, rehearsing unto them the Signs of God, sanctifying them, and instructing them in Scripture and Wisdom, while, before that, they had been in manifest error.(Qur’aan, 3:164)”
The Prophet is not among us in his flesh, but his exemplary life has been preserved for all humanity to follow. The best example of polygyny:
The Prophet Muhammad on whom be peace was married to his first wife, Khadijah(R), for 25 years, and he did not take other wives until after her death. His marriages to several widows and divorcees in later years were primarily contracted for political and humanitarian reasons, as was expected of a man in his position. His home life was characterised by love, consideration, kindness and respect.
Therefore Polygyny is not for a caprice but it is for a greater good.(see our articles Muhammad on whom be peace the illuminating Sun and Polygamy is indeed Bibical)
You might ask,if men and women are equal in Islaam,then why could not there be polyandry (a woman having more than one husband)?
The answer is simple. Islaam did not allow it because Allaah is All-Aware that it will create a problem of kinship. This means that the child may not know who is actually his father (it could be anyone of the four husbands).I am aware that recent advances in science have made it possible for both the mother and father to be identified with the help of genetic testing. Thus this point which was applicable for the past may not be applicable for the present.In addition to the psychological damage it may cause, this problem also complicates the issue of inheritance. Even birds and animals do not allow polyandry.
Equality that men and women receive when it comes to attaining the rewards of paradise.
So their Lord accepted their prayer: That I will not waste the work of a worker among you, whether male or female…
And whoever does good deeds whether male or female and he (or she) is a believer — these shall enter the garden, and they shall not be dealt with a jot unjustly.
Whoever does good whether male or female and he is a believer, We will most certainly make him live a happy life, and We will most certainly give them their reward for the best of what they did.
Surely the men who submit and the women who submit, and the believing men and the believing women, and the obeying men and the obeying women, and the truthful men and the truthful women, and the patient men and the patient women and the humble men and the humble women, and the almsgiving men and the almsgiving women, and the fasting men and the fasting women, and the men who guard their private parts and the women who guard, and the men who remember Allah much and the women who remember — Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a mighty reward.
They and their wives shall be in shades, reclining on raised couches
They will have with their Lord whatever they desire; that is the reward of those who good.
Enter the garden, you and your wives; you shall be made happy.
Since the men and women are equal even in the afterlife, so the question of when a man enters paradise, he will get hoor, i.e. beautiful maidens.What will a woman have when she enters paradise is not arises.
However, Majority of scholars says women will get something exceptional , A reply that would be accepted by all types of people would rather be the answer given in the Hadeeth when a similar question was posed that if a man gets a hoor, a beautiful Maiden in Paradise, then what will the women get? The reply was that the women will get that which the heart has not desired for, the ear hasn’t heard off and the eye hasn’t seen, indicating that even the women will get something exceptional in Paradise.
So,You see,There is no where in the Qur’aan, it state that one gender have a superiority over the other.Period.