Women as Infants, Children and Daughters

Published September 13, 2012 by AbdulJabarAzimi

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Allah, the Exalted, states in the Glorious Qur’an concerning the necessity and importance of the preservation and care of new born children, the very first right of the child:

(And kill not your children for fear of poverty. We provide for them and for you. Surely, such a killing is a great sin.

[The Holy Quran, 17:31]

Islam requires parents to give their children beautiful names, take proper care of them, take care of all their needs, provide for them reasonably in accordance with the parent’s income, and ensure a decent, respected and honorable life for them. And the authentic prophetic tradition says:

“Verily Allah has prohibited for you to be disobedient and ungrateful to your mothers or to bury your daughters alive…”

[Sahih Bukhari #1407 & Muslim #593 ]

Thus they have the right of blood money if killed, as it is reported by Aishah, (may Allah exalt their mention):

“Two women from Huthail tribe fought and one threw a stone and killed the other and that which was in her womb, so the Prophet (Peace be upon Him) judged that the blood money is a slave boy or girl, and the blood money of the woman (100 she-camels) was to be paid by her clansmen.

[Sahih Bukhari #3512 & Muslim #1681]

Allah, the Exalted, states in the Glorious Qur’an:

(Mothers shall nurse their children for two whole years, for those parents who desire to complete the term of suckling, and the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis.)

[The Holy Quran, 2:233]

Care and guardianship of children is the most important right after the right of (milk) nursing by the mother. The mother is entitled to the custody of the child, son or daughter at the early stage of life, between the ages of one and thirteen or fourteen. This applies particularly in cases of divorce due to essential differences between parents. Islam entitles the mother to her child’s custody during early childhood because she, generally, is more caring and attentive to the child’s needs. Abdullah bin Amr related that a woman came to the Prophet (Peace be upon Him) complaining about her husband saying:

“My womb held my baby as a fetus, my breast nursed the baby as an infant, and my lap carried the child for a long time. Now the father divorced me and he wants to rip the baby away from me!”

He (Peace be upon Him) said: “You deserve the child’s custody more as long as you do not remarry.”

[Abu Dawood #2276 & others]

Parents are obligated to treat all their children mercifully and with compassion. Abu Hurairah(may Allah exalt their mention) reported:

“The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) kissed Hasan ibn Ali (his grandson) in the presence of Aqra’ ibn Habis at-Tameemi who said, “I have ten children and I never kissed any of them.” 
Upon that he looked at him and replied: “Whoever does not have mercy will not receive mercy.”

[Sahih Bukhari #5651 ]

Islamic law stipulates that parents must care and pay attention to their children, especially girls for their special needs.

The Prophet (Peace be upon Him) also said:

“Whoever supports two girls till they attain maturity, he and I will come on the Day of Resurrection like this.” The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) then joined his fingers to illustrate this.

[Sahih Muslim #2631]

Islamic laws and teachings mandate that parents raise their children with the best manners and offer them a sound, beneficial and healthy education. The Prophet of Allah (Peace be upon Him) said:

“It is enough sin for a person to neglect those for whose care he is responsible.”

[Sahih Muslim #996]

Ibn Umar (may Allah exalt their mention) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) said:

“Each one of you is a shepherd and each one of you is responsible for those under his care. A leader is a shepherd and is responsible for his citizens. A man is a shepherd of his family and is responsible for them. A woman is a shepherd in her husband’s home and is responsible for whatever is under her care. A servant is a shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for whatever is under his care. Each one of you is a shepherd and each one of you is responsible for whatever is under his care.

[Sahih Bukhari#853 & Muslim #1829 ]

Islam commands justice in all matters and this general ruling is applied to all children regardless of their sexes. Allah, the Exalted, states in the Glorious Qur’an:

(Verily Allah enjoins justice and the doing of good, and liberality to kith and kin, and He forbids all shameful deeds, wickedness, and injustice and oppression. He admonishes you that you may take heed.

[The Holy Quran, 16:90]

Aishah, the Prophet’s wife and the mother of the believers (may Allah exalt their mention) said: A poor woman came to my door carrying two little girls. I offered them three dates (i.e. since I had nothing else). She gave each of her two girls a date, and lifted the third one to her mouth to eat. Both her daughters urged her to feed them more, so she split the last date into two pieces and gave one half to each of her two daughters. I admired what the woman had done and told the story to the Prophet of Allah (Peace be upon Him) who said upon hearing it:

“Verily Allah obligated paradise for her due to this act of hers” or “liberated her from the Hellfire due to this act of hers.”

[Sahih Muslim #2630]

And in another authentic narration he said at the end:

“Whoever is tested by trials in caring for these daughters, they will be a cover for him from Hellfire.”

[Sahih Bukhari #1352 & Muslim #2629 ]

Islam calls for material and emotional justice and fair treatment from both parents to their children, regardless of their sexes. A male child is not to be given special preference over a female child, or vice versa. The Prophet of Allah (Peace be upon Him) said to one of his companions who had given a present to only one of his children:

“Did you give all your children like this?”

He said: “No.”

He said: “Fear Allah and be just with all of your children.”

[Sahih Muslim #1623]

Islam emphasizes the importance of taking care of orphans. Being an orphan has a great negative impact on the mental, spiritual and emotional status of a child. This state may lead an orphan to deviation or corruption at times, especially if the orphan exists in a society that does not give him due care, fulfill his needs and be kind and merciful to him. Islam pays special attention to the welfare of orphans, males and females alike. Islam requires that the immediate relatives of that orphan take good care of him/her. If there are no relatives, then it becomes the responsibility of the Islamic State to take care of them, manage their affairs and provide them with care. Allah, the Exalted, states in the Glorious Qur’an:

(As for the orphans, do not treat them with harshness.)

[The Holy Quran, 93:9]

Allah, the Exalted, also states in the Glorious Qur’an:

(Verily, those who unjustly eat up the property of orphans, they eat up only a fire into their bellies, and they will be burnt in the Blazing fire!)

[The Holy Quran, 4:10]

The Prophet of Allah (Peace be upon Him) said:

“Verily I declare the gravity of the rights of the two weak persons: the orphan and the woman.”

[Haakim #211 & Tabarani]

Here he indicates the great sin to perpetrate any harm or injustice to these two, who, according to their natural weakness in the society, often are neglected or denied their rights.

Allah’s Prophet (Peace be upon Him) also said:

“Avoid the seven cardinal sins that cause destruction.”

The companions asked: “O Prophet of Allah! What are these sins?”

He (Peace be upon Him) said: “To associate others in the worship of Allah, to practice sorcery, to kill a human soul for no just reason, to deal with interest, to devour the wealth of an orphan, to flee from the battlefield, and to accuse the innocent, chaste, believing women with adultery.”

[Sahih Bukhari #2615 & Muslim #89 ]

Many other Prophetic statements have been reported as urging believing Muslims to sponsor orphans, take good care of them, be kind to them, and demonstrate love and affection for them. For instance he said (Peace be upon Him):

“I and the guardian of an orphan are like these two in Paradise.” He then indicated with his index and middle fingers.

[Sahih Bukhari #4998 ]

Islam cares for the welfare of those illegitimate children who, through no fault of theirs, are left without any acknowledgement from their parents. The Islamic government is required to take care of such children, exactly as any other orphan so that they may become, by the will of Allah, normal and beneficial members of the society. As the Prophet of Allah (Peace be upon Him) said as a general ruling of benevolence:

“…you have reward for (doing good to) every living being…”

[Sahih Bukhari #2334 ]

Islamic jurisprudence obligated the fathers (or guardians) to ask the opinion of the daughters when it comes to marriage, as her opinion is an essential condition for the validity of the marriage. She is free from any coercion, and may accept the person or reject a proposal.The Prophet of Allah (Peace be upon Him) said:

“A divorcee or widow should not be married without her permission and a virgin girl must not enter wedlock until she approves.”

They asked: “And how does she approve O Messenger of Allah?”

He said: “She stays quiet (i.e. out of shyness but doesn’t indicate disapproval.)

[Sahih Bukhari #4843 ]

Imam Ahmad and others report that ‘Aishah (may Allah exalt their mention) said: A woman came to Allah’s Prophet (Peace be upon Him) and said:

“O, Prophet of Allah! My father offered me in marriage to his nephew to elevate his social status.”

Allah’s Prophet (Peace be upon Him) returned the matter to her hands, to accept and approve the marriage or to reject. The woman said:

“I approve now of what my father has done, but I wanted to teach other women that their fathers have no right in this” (to force them to marry whoever they want.)

[Ahmad #25027]

This is because daughters are precious, as the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) said in a verified tradition:

“Do not force the daughters and girls for they are precious and delightful companions.”

[Ahmad #17411 and verified]

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